NASHVILLE, Tenn. (GL) – Al Gore said Wednesday that the terms “global warming”, “climate change”, and “climate crisis” shall be immediately replaced with an unpronounceable symbol. As he unveiled the new symbol to the media at a press conference in his hometown, the former vice president cited the continued emerging complexity of climate science as the reason for the change in nomenclature.
At a news conference in Nashville on Wednesday, Al Gore presents the unprounceable symbol that is the new name for global warming, climate change, and the climate crisis. Photo by World Resources Institute licensed by Creative Commons.
“The terms global warming, climate change and climate crisis are wholly inadequate to accurately describe the catastrophe that our planet faces if we continue to treat our atmosphere like an open sewer”, Gore said. He added, “I recognize the difficulties the public, journalists and the consensus of scientists will have in referring to this unpronounceable symbol in spoken or printed words, therefore I would urge everyone to refer to this symbol as simply, ‘The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming’”.
Gore said, “The climate crisis, um, The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming is a true planetary emergency. It is not a political issue. It is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity.” He added, “Yes, it is cumbersome to say, but words simply fail to describe the complexity of the threat and the catastrophe we face if we fail to take decisive action to move towards a more sustainable economy. The name has changed, but the chorus of alarm bells sounding the need to address the danger continues to grow ever louder, and the planet’s very survival is at risk. This symbol is the new face of the threat that faces humanity, and yet the symbol is also intended to convey the hope and opportunity that are within our grasp if we make the right choice for ourselves, and for the the planet.”
Following Gore’s remarks, journalist Phelim McAleer asked Gore, “Mr. Gore, is this name change simply an acknowledgment that global temperatures have stabilized or gone down for the past decade, and that the science is certainly not settled given the recent Climategate and IPCC scandals?” Gore replied, “Not at all. The scientific consensus is stronger than ever, and The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming is posing an ever greater threat to our planet’s future, and to the future we leave our grandchildren.” McAleer replied, “But, Mr. Gore, isn’t this just a ploy….” Security staff aided by other journalists then intervened, and a security staff member was heard asking McAleer to sit down because it was another journalist’s turn to ask a question.
In accordance with Gore’s announcement, Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, Chairman of the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), said Wednesday evening that his panel would immediately file all papers necessary to change the name of the IPCC to the Intergovernmental Panel on The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming (IPTPFKGW).
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Next thing you’ll hear Gore tell us is that the phenomenon formerly known as global warming causes Purple Rain…
Good one! Thanks for the comment.
That is possibly the ugliest logo ever conceived by the mind of man. Plz post a jpg of the logo alone for righteous mockery and derision.
Is the article a joke? Is Gore serious? I’m confused.
It’s satire, but you can almost picture Al Gore trying to pull this off for real, can’t ya?
Yes, I can. Thanks.
This “unpronounceable symbol” as Mr Gore calls it, looks like the letters OS followed by a double cross. I see he refers to an “open sewer” in his speech, so is that the message: “Open Sewer, doublecross” ?
But there’s a line through the S. Maybe that should be a double line, to make $? Or maybe that should be a double S? (surely not)
geoff,
You spotted the $ sign which was intentional, the rest was not. However, when it comes to interpreting art (?!), everyone sees different things.
Thanks for your comment.
Superb snarkage.
Does this mean we can get Al’s version of “Purple Rain” on iTunes now?
[...] Algore $ makes the world spin [...]
It’s pagan global warming religion mixed with profit motive.
I’d call it the Global Warmist Staff of CHA-CHING!
Unpronounceable? Not at all.
That’s an = under the $ sign.
Because, the scam, just, keeps adding up!
Good catch on the “=” underneath the $ sign. Yes, that was deliberate, i.e. there’s a profit motive for the chosen “green” corportions (that Al Gore has investments in), but there is also the goal of redistribution of wealth due to an imagined “climate debt”.
fuckk yeahhh man aha
So the truth is, they have to keep changing the name because they threw the previous name at the wall to see if it would stick. Since it didn’t stick they change the name and try it again. If this wasn’t so serious, I would be laughing. These people are truly physcopaths. (Rockefeller, Rothchild, Gore, Clinton, Bush, Cheney, Soros, Gates Etc)
I personally told Al Gore off to his face from about 10 foot away,A very uncomfortable situation for him I am sure.
I always knew he was a liar. All the Cops protecting him had a smile from ear to ear. Secret service on the other hand …
I really thought for a second this was real. I don’t see why would they not kick it up a notch,liars lie
Ha ha! Thanks iowntheworld for linking to this! And, now that they’ve come up with, “Global Climatic Disruptification” they’ve come one step closer to making parody reality.
the sad part of this is that I thought it was a real event for the first 2 paragraphs.
these warmies are getting crazier and crazier, no telling whats next. ..
but ill bet its stupid and expensive
[...] Gore takes a lesson in branding from a diminutive musician from the Twin cities and ‘The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming’ is born. Maybe next Al will carve ‘slave’ onto his cheek too? (satire, as if you didn’t [...]
that’s the old cherokee symbol for “beware white man @ podium. Him full of shit!”