Mar 25

Round-Up time!

Al Gore upsets nerds and pervs in one week, we discover that eco-terrorists are Riverdance fans and dirty hippies want you to stop bathing, of course.This Saturday is Earth hour, so be a good skeptic and turn all the lights on and show the world you’re no hippie.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Al Gore is a genius.  He found two new audiences this week, though perhaps not in the way he might have liked.  First, the geek squad that is comic-con fears that an appearance at a competing event by manbearpig might wreck the nerdfest.  Al only has to be in the vicinity for things to go wrong, jut wait until the Gore effect kicks in an the nerds are neck deep in global warming.

Not only did Al get the attention of geeks, he also got the pervs.  Penthouse magazine strips the covers off Climategate and exposes Al’s role in An Inconvenient Fraud.  They also have the best picture of Gore since the last best picture of Gore:

Dr. Evil indeed

Penthouse sets up Al nicely for the dressing down that follows:

It was good to be Al Gore in the last part of the last decade. In the year 2000 he was the world’s biggest loser. By 2009 he was one of the world’s biggest winners after becoming the master of disaster. Flummoxed by his noninvention of the Internet and his nonelection as president of the United States, Gore found a winning hand in predicting the end of the world. In the process, he received an Oscar for his film An Inconvenient Truth, the Nobel Peace Prize, and millions of dollars through his interests in companies that dealt in “carbon credits.” Gore became more of a “Comeback Kid” than Bill Clinton ever was. For most of 2009, it was still good to be King Al. But late in the year, Al Gore’s beloved Internet betrayed him.

Al is going to California, where LA mayor Villasomethingorother will sign a ‘carbon reduction surcharge’, something that Al approves of but that will only make more people leave the state for business friendly regions like Texas.

Al blogged that 2,000 scientists signed a call to the Senate for action on global warming.  Apparently, the Goreacle still thinks that a large enough number of people in agreement offset the truth that there is no such thing as global warming.  Also, inconveniently for Al, a lot of the signatories aren’t proper scientists, not yet anyway.

Just in case 2,000 nearly-sciencytists isn’t enough to convince you that global warming is going to kill you, Al turned to renowned climate expert and villager Marisa Marcavillaca of Peru.  I’m not kidding, he really did that.  On purpose.

Remember Waxman-Malarky?  Now that the health care debate is over and Americans can look forward to the same non-access to care that we Canadians enjoy, the green agenda is back on the Washington radar.  Al points to a screed by Ed Markey who touted the benefits of weatherization programs and solar power.  He might have picked better programs that the two most troubled ones out there, but he’s a Democrat so he gets points for trying.

Proceed on to The Daily Bayonet for Parts 2 through 5. Enjoy!

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