Jul 30

Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, July 31st 2009

By Editor Al Gore, Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up Comments Off on Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, July 31st 2009

The Daily Bayonet’s Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up is back, and it’s better than ever:

It’s been a couple of weeks since you were rounded-up, so pay attention.

The climate crisis is the only crisis in history to have an identity crisis – find out the new and improved official name for Gaia’s impending fiery death and much, much more in this week’s round-up.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Al Gore was recently in Australia, the land down under.  He took time to meet with 1,000 activists, business leaders and scientists to launch something he likes to call Safe Climate Australia.  Frankly, on a continent that has as many natural deadly creatures as Australia, the climate is pretty much a non-issue.  Seriously, A Taipan snake, or some warm weather?  You figure it out.

zombie steve and a taipan snakezombie steve and a taipan snake

Al failed to meet with Aussie Senator Fielding, a recent convert to the skeptic camp, but he did have time to meet Gimli from the Lord of the Rings, which was nice  (you’ll need to click to get the jape).

The Goreacle was so excited by a magazine article that he blogged about it.  Unfortunately the article that Al found so stimulating didn’t start “Dear Penthouse..”, but it did contain alarmist pr0n:

“Picture the scene: in downtown New York City, all-electric cars glide through streets in a zero-emission transport revolution. Polluting, inefficient gasoline and diesel vehicles are nowhere to be seen – or heard. The only things getting in the way of these smooth, noiseless vehicles are the horse-drawn trams.”

Any skeptical scientist knows that their work will be discredited by Al Gore and his acolytes if they so much as accept a free glass with a tank of gas from an oil company, but green lobby money is no problem.  Just ask Al.

We’ll wrap this section with some of my favorite red meat: green on green action.  The folks at Treehugger are upset because perennial hippie and totalitarian tool David Suzuki doesn’t give reforestation a big enough bong hit of lurve as a carbon offset program.  Poor things.

GWHWRU veterans know that this is just the beginning, but budding skeptics who are GWHWRU virgins are in for a surprise: Your journey only has just begun. There’s four more parts to go. But, there’s a nice treat for waiting for you in Part 5. Now, go enjoy the rest of your journey at The Daily Bayonet.

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Jul 02

Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, July 3rd 2009

By Editor Al Gore, Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up Comments Off on Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, July 3rd 2009

Anti-cap & trade black ribbon

It’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for The Daily Bayonet to skewer the clueless Warmers once again:

Al Gore blogged, Bollywood rocked and maybe John DeLorean was a genius.

All this and hippie-mocking goodness galore in your July 4th weekend roundupalooza.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Global Warming Profiteer Prophet Al Gore had a busy week.  The Goreacle brushed off an inconvenient snub when his usual playmates asked him not to come to their party, and used the opportunity to blog to the masses.

Al proclaimed to his sheeple that they had a crucial part to play in the Waxman-Malarkey vote.  To be more accurate they will have more to do after its passage, like getting a 2nd job to pay for the increased taxes on their first job.  Until both jobs only exist in China.

Al is all about the GreenAl is all about the Green

Al promised that the climate bill will only cost them the same as a postage stamp a day and that green jobs would magically drop from the sky.  Spain? What about Spain?  Oh, I see.  Shut Up!

There is something wrong with the math in the ‘cost of a postage stamp’ comparison, which the USPS will fix by increasing the price of each stamp to $7.00.

Once the voting was done and Waxman was over the gall of minority leaders Boehner wanting to expose the detail of his cap and bend-over bill, The Goreacle appeared and Al made his official statement and immediately pushed the Senate to pass the bill.  Al is worried that because Exxon has spent $9.3 million lobbying congress that his own $300 million might not be enough.

Not to forget Canada’s own climate hysteric, David Suzuki, he came in for some mockery over some TV ads he’s appeared in.

Worth far more mockery is a much older TV appearance.  Viewer warning, the clip below features unedited hippies in a commune-type environment listening to a younger Suzuki talking, well, balls.

That Suzuki video is just priceless.

And for more priceless clicking fun, you’ll have to leave here, and transport yourself to The Daily Bayonet for Part 2 through 5.  Don’t miss Part 5, there’s a beautiful global hottie waiting for you.

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Jun 18

Another Thursday, another Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up. Enjoy:

Find out what the left’s new segregation is all about, and why the future crimes department of corrections might want to lock you up for harboring naughty global warming thoughts.

Still dare to be skeptical?  Step right on up, it’s linkage you can believe in, with 10% added snark.  But wait, read it now and I’ll include the global hottie for FREE.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Profiteer prophet Al Gore, blessed eco-blogger, is taking his talking points from newspaper ads.  Only died-in-the-wool green zealots or hopeless lefties could fail to see the irony of demanding cap and bend-over laws while making this argument:

“But when it comes to preparing our country to compete in the clean energy economy, the U.S. is losing and we lag far behind our global competitors. Even as our inventors create new technologies, we often lose them to overseas markets that have supportive government policies and incentives.”

Wasn’t BJ Clinton, Al’s ex-boss, that coined the phrase “It’s the Economy, Stupid” ?

He might have a couple of employees languishing in a NorK prison, but that can’t stop Al from moving Current TV into Canada.  Gore supporters take note, you too may be under bussed and forgotten this quickly.

Repower America has a new commercial in which a grizzled old farmhand tells us to ‘get real’.  See, farmers can talk hippie too.  Big Tom call the funding for the ads ‘mysterious’.  He ain’t kidding.

I believe the horse, personallyhey Mr. Ed, why the long face?

The patron saint of global warming will not be celebrated with a statue in Tennessee after all.  Good decision, since one of the two founded the infinitely corrupt United Nations and the other is Al Gore, it was only a matter of time before the effigies were given the full Saddam anyhow.

Newsbusters asks whether the weather will crack Al’s credibility, to which I snort and ask ‘what credibility?’

The Goreacle has 1 million acolytes on Twitter.  I’m not the sharpest hammer in the toolbag, but a million sounds like a lot.  Al was moved so deeply by reaching the milestone that he blessed the masses with this statement: “Wow”.   People swooned.  Really.  Meanwhile, Al has found time in his busy schedule to follow 8 people.  Seven of them he has direct ownership in, and the eighth, some Obama fella, could be described as a wholly-owned subsidiary (see Part Two).

Meanwhile, let’s check in with Canada’s own lovable raving moonbat hippie communist, David ‘jail ‘em’ Suzuki.  DS had a busy week.  First he persuaded a food store to stop selling unsustainable fish, then he pondered what to do with GM now that ‘we’ own it.  Let’s peek into the hippie mind and see what’s going on in there:

…even private automobiles may eventually be a thing of the past; the idea of using of a tonne of metal and many litres of fossil fuel to get one person to the grocery store or work is more than a bit absurd.

Bingo! That’s the kind of thinking that will save GM!

I don't know what 'onfoods' are, but save them anywayI don’t know what ‘onfoods’ are, but save them anyway

Doc Suzuki was given a great honor this week when construction started on Canada’s First Eco-Indoctrination Camp for moppets.  It’s being named after him, the eco-totalitarian in chief.  It brings a tear to the eye.  Sniff.

Congrats, you’ve completed Part 1 of your mission. To advance to Part 2, 3, 4, and 5, please report to The Daily Bayonet. And if you’re real good there’s a special treat waiting for you in Part 5.

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Jun 11

Once again, The Daily Bayonet proves that skeptics have more fun:

It’s time for skeptics to smile again, the regular round-up of all things warm, toasty and positively hoaxy is here.

It’s a bumper edition this week, so a well padded seat and extra-large beverage is recommended.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Warmists were blessed for a second consecutive week when Profiteer Prophet Al Gore blogged.  I know that posting on a blog isn’t as dramatic as appearing on a mountain top with an armload of stones, but it’s greener, right?  Anyways, back to the Goreacle’s post, which recommendeth the Grist:

“The Alliance [ for Climate protection] recently brought on other veterans of national political campaigns: Steve Hildebrand, the Obama campaign’s deputy national campaign director, is working as a consultant for the project. Steve Bouchard, a veteran of the 2004 and 2008 Democratic presidential campaigns, is campaign manager for the Alliance. Brian Rogers, spokesperson for John McCain’s presidential campaign last year, has come on board as research director.”

Wasn’t global warming supposed to be about settled science?  It sure looks political when you look at the list above.

In awkward juxtaposition, Al’s beloved Grist issued a correction for an article on West Virginia.  And then another one, because Grist doesn’t know where West Virginia is, but it can tell you what to think about the climate.

Did the Gore Effect land in Melbourne, Australia?  I report, you decide.  Related, Gore’s speaking engagement wasn’t quite as non-partisan as it appeared.

From the not-at-all-funny-department, two Gore employees have been sentenced to hard labor in North Korea.  Al might go do something about that.   From the OK-I-can’t-help-myself-department, prisoner exchange?  Please?

repower North Korea?repower North Korea?

Nothing screams planet-in-peril  ‘crisis’ like interpretive dance.  It’s a little known fact that every major crisis in history has needed a slideshow, $300 million in advertising, an opera and dance before it was taken seriously, right?  Oh, well, nevermind, this is Crisis 2.0 and it needs dance,  because the planet is doomed and it’s your fault.

Gore friend and aged hippie David Suzuki demonizes travel in order to make you think twice about leaving the house.  Some scary facts:

Almost every American will be injured in a car crash during his/her lifetime.

50,000 North Americans die annually in car crashes.

3,000,000 North Americans are seriously injured annually in car crashes.

Today’s average vehicle sold in North America gets worse gas mileage than a Model T.


An inconvenient fact:

Political activist David Suzuki — on a cross-country tour urging Canadians and politicians to drastically reduce greenhouse gas emissions — may want to look in his own backyard before lecturing Canadians on how they’re destroying the Earth. With all the alternative-energy modes of transportation out there, Suzuki and his entourage are crossing Canada in a sprawling, “rock-star-style” diesel-burning tour bus, emitting more greenhouse gases during his 30-day tour than many of us do in a year.

That’s Part One. Parts Two through Five can be located at The Daily Bayonet, including the weekly Global Hottie.

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