NASHVILLE, Tenn. (GL) – Al Gore said Wednesday that the terms “global warming”, “climate change”, and “climate crisis” shall be immediately replaced with an unpronounceable symbol. As he unveiled the new symbol to the media at a press conference in his hometown, the former vice president cited the continued emerging complexity of climate science as the reason for the change in nomenclature.
“The terms global warming, climate change and climate crisis are wholly inadequate to accurately describe the catastrophe that our planet faces if we continue to treat our atmosphere like an open sewer”, Gore said. He added, “I recognize the difficulties the public, journalists and the consensus of scientists will have in referring to this unpronounceable symbol in spoken or printed words, therefore I would urge everyone to refer to this symbol as simply, ‘The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming’”.
Gore said, “The climate crisis, um, The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming is a true planetary emergency. It is not a political issue. It is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity.” He added, “Yes, it is cumbersome to say, but words simply fail to describe the complexity of the threat and the catastrophe we face if we fail to take decisive action to move towards a more sustainable economy. The name has changed, but the chorus of alarm bells sounding the need to address the danger continues to grow ever louder, and the planet’s very survival is at risk. This symbol is the new face of the threat that faces humanity, and yet the symbol is also intended to convey the hope and opportunity that are within our grasp if we make the right choice for ourselves, and for the the planet.”
Following Gore’s remarks, journalist Phelim McAleer asked Gore, “Mr. Gore, is this name change simply an acknowledgment that global temperatures have stabilized or gone down for the past decade, and that the science is certainly not settled given the recent Climategate and IPCC scandals?” Gore replied, “Not at all. The scientific consensus is stronger than ever, and The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming is posing an ever greater threat to our planet’s future, and to the future we leave our grandchildren.” McAleer replied, “But, Mr. Gore, isn’t this just a ploy….” Security staff aided by other journalists then intervened, and a security staff member was heard asking McAleer to sit down because it was another journalist’s turn to ask a question.
In accordance with Gore’s announcement, Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, Chairman of the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), said Wednesday evening that his panel would immediately file all papers necessary to change the name of the IPCC to the Intergovernmental Panel on The Phenomenon Formerly Known as Global Warming (IPTPFKGW).
Possibly Related Posts:
- “Global warming without warming”: Global warming realism leads mainstream newspaper above the fold
- Al Gore-backed (and US government-backed) Fisker Automotive delivers $100,000 plug-in hybrid lemon to Consumer Reports; inexplicably broke down after 180 miles of testing
- Al Gore / AIT Index, Vol. 23: Global temperatures have plunged .56°F since An Inconvenient Truth was released
- Let’s all walk, bike, swim, or paddle to Peru since Al Gore has pronounced his admiration for ‘the growing eco-tourism that is flourishing in Peru’
- Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, July 15 2010